The term "woke bae" has become increasingly popular in recent years, referring to a man who is not only socially aware and politically active, but also actively works to challenge and dismantle systems of oppression. Many women are drawn to the idea of dating a woke bae, someone who shares their values and is committed to social justice. However, not all men who claim to be woke actually live up to the title. In fact, there are several signs that the guy you're dating isn't as woke as he thinks he is. Here are 15 signs to look out for.

So, you've been on a few dates with this guy and he seems pretty switched on, right? But have you noticed a couple of things that just don't sit right? Maybe he's made a few off-color comments or shown some questionable behavior. Before you brush it off, take a minute to consider if he's really as woke as he claims. Trust your instincts, and if you need a little help deciphering the signs, check out this insightful article on navigating the dating game. It's always better to be safe than sorry!

1. He doesn't listen to your experiences

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One of the hallmarks of being woke is being able to listen and empathize with the experiences of others, especially those who are marginalized. If the guy you're dating dismisses or belittles your experiences as a woman, person of color, or member of the LGBTQ+ community, he's not as woke as he claims to be.

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2. He only engages in performative activism

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Performative activism refers to actions that are more about appearing woke than actually making a meaningful impact. If the guy you're dating only posts about social justice issues on social media or attends protests for the photo op, without actually doing any real work to challenge oppressive systems, he may not be as woke as he thinks he is.

3. He doesn't challenge his own privilege

Being woke means being aware of and actively working to challenge one's own privilege. If the guy you're dating doesn't acknowledge or challenge his own privilege, and instead expects you to educate him on social justice issues, he may not be as woke as he claims to be.

4. He's defensive when called out

No one is perfect, and part of being woke is being open to feedback and willing to learn and grow. If the guy you're dating gets defensive or dismissive when you call him out on problematic behavior, it's a sign that he's not as woke as he thinks he is.

5. He doesn't respect your boundaries

Respecting boundaries is a key aspect of being woke, as it involves recognizing and honoring the autonomy of others. If the guy you're dating consistently pushes your boundaries or disregards your consent, he's not as woke as he claims to be.

6. He's not interested in learning about different perspectives

Being woke means being open to learning about and understanding different perspectives and experiences. If the guy you're dating is closed-minded and unwilling to engage with ideas that challenge his own, he may not be as woke as he thinks he is.

7. He only engages with social justice issues when it benefits him

If the guy you're dating only speaks up about social justice issues when it directly affects him or when it's convenient for him, he's not truly committed to the cause. Being woke means being willing to advocate for justice even when it doesn't directly benefit you.

8. He uses his activism as a way to gain attention or validation

If the guy you're dating constantly seeks validation and praise for his activism, using it as a way to boost his own ego rather than genuinely caring about the causes he claims to support, he may not be as woke as he claims to be.

9. He's quick to tokenize or speak over marginalized voices

Being woke involves centering and uplifting marginalized voices, not speaking over them or using them to validate your own opinions. If the guy you're dating regularly does this, it's a sign that he's not as woke as he thinks he is.

10. He's not willing to address his own biases

Part of being woke is recognizing and addressing your own biases and prejudices. If the guy you're dating is unwilling to acknowledge or work on his own biases, he may not be as woke as he claims to be.

11. He doesn't take responsibility for his mistakes

Being woke involves taking responsibility for your actions and working to make amends when you've caused harm. If the guy you're dating is quick to deflect blame or make excuses for his behavior, he may not be as woke as he thinks he is.

12. He's not willing to do the emotional labor

Emotional labor refers to the work of managing emotions and providing support, often disproportionately placed on women and marginalized individuals. If the guy you're dating expects you to do the emotional labor in the relationship, he's not as woke as he claims to be.

13. He only engages with surface-level activism

Surface-level activism refers to actions that may appear progressive on the surface, but don't actually challenge oppressive systems. If the guy you're dating only engages in surface-level activism, he may not be as woke as he thinks he is.

14. He doesn't prioritize self-reflection and growth

Being woke involves a commitment to self-reflection and personal growth, as well as challenging oppressive systems. If the guy you're dating isn't actively working on himself and his own understanding of social justice issues, he may not be as woke as he claims to be.

15. He's not willing to stand up for you

Lastly, if the guy you're dating isn't willing to stand up for you in the face of oppression or discrimination, he's not truly committed to social justice. Being woke means being willing to advocate for and defend those who are marginalized, even when it's difficult or uncomfortable.

In conclusion, being woke isn't just about talking the talk – it's about actively challenging oppressive systems, listening to and learning from marginalized voices, and doing the work to be a better ally. If the guy you're dating exhibits any of these signs, it may be time to reevaluate whether he truly lives up to the title of woke bae. Remember, you deserve someone who not only shares your values, but actively works to uphold them in the world.